 
            
                                          
                  Rob Ashby
                            The Spanish Obsessive
                                                            We are proud to present the Spanish Obsessed collection of humorous Spanish phrases. These are phrases you can use just to get a quick laugh during your Spanish conversation, or whenever you feel like lightening the mood. They're also quite good to use with English people when you want to say something but don't want to get in trouble – just try one of these phrases instead!
                                       Funny Spanish insults
              The Spanish are good with their insults. In fact, in many regions they take pride in the inventiveness and originality of their insults – especially in Southern Spain. In Andalucia, they take insults to an art form almost akin to poetry! Of course, as with any slang, these can be very regional. Don't be surprised, therefore, if you hear something completely new wherever you are, or if people look at you like you're mad when you try some of the below. We've tried to use insults which are common to all of the Spanish speaking world, but there's always the chance that the object of your insult might not understand you!
                                                El burro sabe mas que tu                                
Donkeys know more than you
                                                Eres tan patético, que resultas entrañable                                
You're so pathetic, you're actually entertaining
                                                Tienes la cara como una nevera por detrás                                
You have a face like the back of a fridge
                                                Eres tan feo/a que hiciste llorar a una cebolla                                
You're so ugly you made an onion cry
                                                Hay días tontos y tontos todos los días                                
There are stupid days, and people who are stupid every day
                                                La mona aunque se vista de seda, mona se queda                                
Although a monkey dresses in silk, it stays a monkey (similar to English "you can't put lipstick on a pig")
              Why not go a little deeper? As you've seen, Spanish is a beautiful and fun language. Why not check out our range of Spanish podcasts?
                                       Spanish proverbs
              These are complete phrases, where you can impart your wisdom:
                                                El que ríe último ríe mejor                                
He who laughs last laughs longest
                                                Quien nada sabe, de nada duda                                
He that knows nothing, doubts nothing
                                                Mucho hablar y poco decir juntos suelen ir                                
Empty vessels make the most noise (lit. "talking lots and saying little usually go together")
Someone who talks too much, but actually doesn't really say anything.
                                                Todo tiene solución, menos la muerte                                
Nothing is certain but death and taxes (lit. "everything has a solution except for death")
                                                Con dinero baila el perro                                
Money talks (lit. "with money the dog dances")
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                            Other amusing Spanish phrases
          Below is a collection of slang phrases which you can use in all sorts of situations:
                      
                                    Meter la pata                        
To screw up/put one's foot (lit "paw") in it.
          For example,Metí la pata cuando le dije a mi jefe que no estuve enfermo ayer, "I put my foot in it when I told my boss I wasn't ill yesterday".
                                    Tener la cola sucia                        
To know one did something wrong, lit "to have a dirty tail".
          For example,Sabe que tiene la cola sucia!, "he knows he did something wrong!".
                                    Feliz como una lombriz                        
As happy as a clam (lit. "as happy as a worm")
                                    Papando moscas                        
Day-dreaming (lit. "catching flies").
          For example,Despiertate! Siempre estás papando moscas!: "Wake up! You're always day-dreaming!
                                    Creerse la última coca-cola del desierto                        
To think you're the business (lit. "to think of oneself as the last coca-cola in the desert")
          Do you have any funny Spanish phrases you would add? Let us know in the comments below!
                                            pricehisgrat.blogspot.com
    Source: https://www.spanishobsessed.com/learn/funny-spanish-phrases/
    
 
 
"Tienes la cara como una nevera por detrás" sounds cruel and funny at the same time. In Puerto Rico we use this funny one: "estar como sapo de letrina" to say that you are stuffed or full of food.
Is there any way to say something like "Go home, you're drunk"?
We say "vete a casa a dormir la mona"(go home to sleep the drunkenness)
Mona in this case means intoxication or drunkenness
To call someone a 'fresa' (strawberry) is actually quite offensive. Its like calling someone a snobby, uppity major drama queen to their face. HIGHLY offensive
What about "Que se te quite El gordo!"
Get that fat off your self. Its funnier in Spanish
Catching flies is a good one. In Georgia (country) we say ´counting flies´ and there is also a more vulgar one: 'piercing his balls with a big needle' (He's sitting there, piercing his balls with a big needle). This means doing nothing or doing something that has no useful outcome.
In Spain, we would say: 'está todo el día rascándose los huevos' (all day long scratching his balls, that's all he does) or 'se rasca las pelotas a dos manos' (scratches his balls with both hands)
pradateaching@gmail.com
:))
"Me importa un rábano."
"I couldn't care less", or phrases like that. (lit. "I care about a radish.")
Various vegetables/fruits may be used in Spanish, such as cucumbers. ("Me importa un pepino.")
creerse la ultima coca- cola del desierto, reminds me of the English phrase " all that in a bag of chips"
Another good one for your list would be: ´Que cada perrito se lama su cipotito´ = each to sort out their own problems (lit. each dog must lick his own dickie´)
Me caes gordo/ gorda…. You make me sick, I'm tired of you
Más tonto que una piedra
¿Sabías que llamar a alguien estúpido en español es un insulto sorprendentemente más ofensivo que decirle eso a alguien en un área de inglés? ¡Asegúrese de vigilar su boca en estas áreas!